I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
