I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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