This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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