Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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