Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
