Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
