peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
