Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You can't just leave with hair like that
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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