I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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