Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
