it hurts more in the daytime
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
