How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
