Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We have started to decorate penises.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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