Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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