Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
NoShamevember. You game?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
