WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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