I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I need to calm my uterus...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
