Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
