I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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