a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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