Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
