But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
