So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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