That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
