i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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