I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
