the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
smell my finger.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
