fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
