Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
