she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
