Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
