Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
