Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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