I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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