Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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