so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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