She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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