Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
