Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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