Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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