Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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