the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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