I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
