i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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