dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
