My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
not ubering you a puppy
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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