So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
