my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
