Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
