I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
