Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
