dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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